Wednesday, January 13, 2016

2016 hopes, etc. etc.


Since the start of this fine year, I have been forcing myself to do that which must be done. 

For example.
  • Should a letter need to be mailed, I get up and I do it the day of. No waiting till the mailbox is "on my way" to somewhere else, no putting it off for days at a time like I normally would do. 
  • Should I need to call about my internet bill I do it as soon as possible. No putting it off for a few weeks until it's absolute dire that I do so.
  • I made all important doctor's appointments that I've been meaning to schedule for ages.
  • I put my clothes away as soon as they're done drying instead of letting them set on my couch for ages. 
  • Doing small tasks in the moment to save a lot of time in the end.

These may seem like really rudimentary practices which an adult should be employing on the reg., but for me it's been a real feat. 

This brings me to my next point. 

What is normal or common for most doesn't mean it's common or normal for others. 

I usually struggle calling about appointments, especially when it's in German. Phone calls trigger my anxiety to the max.; mix in the fact the conversation is in German and bam! you've got the perfect storm of insecurity. 

So those phone calls to challenge a bill or set up a doctor's appoint are a big deal for me, and that's ok. 

Next on my list of things to conquer (or try to conquer) in 2016 includes not comparing myself to others. Because if there's anything that will eat you alive, it's comparison.

Instead I'll keep my head down, focus on my own achievements, no matter the size.

And i'll try to leave my Netflix nest more on the weekend. 

But aside from that, I think 2016 is ours for the taking, folks. Deal?

Deal.

Pin It Now!

Monday, January 4, 2016

Quote of 2016.

You ruin your life by desensitizing yourself. We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us. Caring is not synonymous with crazy. Expressing to someone how special they are to you will make you vulnerable. There is no denying that. However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occur when you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you. Let that girl know that she inspires you. Tell your mother you love her in front of your friends. Express, express, express. Open yourself up, do not harden yourself to the world, and be bold in who, and how you love. There is courage in that. — Bianca Sparacino How To Ruin Your Life (Without Even Noticing That You Are)
Pin It Now!

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

When nothing goes unsaid.


Have you ever puked on the subway? Well, not on the subway, exactly -- or the Tube, in my case -- but gotten that feeling of utter nausea, the kind that starts in your heart and the next thing you know you're running off the train to find the nearest trashcan, bush, whatever?

I have. This past weekend, in fact.

I went to visit some friends in London. London and I have had a lot of interesting moments together. Mostly brilliant. Some rather sad. London isn't a city where you have a mediocre time. It's really not. You either have the most magical time on Earth, or you end up puking on the Tube from sadness, or maybe you experience both in a mere 12 hours span, as was my latest adventure.

I could go into details. Give you the play-by-play of what happened. But I think there are some things that should be reserved for my personal memories... or until I'm a little bit less fragile.

But here's what I do want to say: if you have something to say, something near and dear to your heart, say it. I know my saying that probably comes as no surprise, I've had a pretty strong track record of doing just that.

This weekend I did it again.

And it wasn't pretty. It was full of ugly tears, confessions of love, and utter rejection. A lost friendship to boot.

(And some puking on the Tube.)

But I walked away with not a single regret, well, aside from wishing i hadn't done that type of sob where you can't catch your breath; the one that takes you back to when you were 3 years old and your mom wouldn't buy you that doll you had to have.

But ugly tears be damned, I regret nothing.

When I'm 40 or 60, I'll never have to wonder "What if I would have just said how I felt?"

I said how I felt. And that's all I can do.

That's all we can ever do.

Love, love, love. I'll keep on if you promise you will.


"I hope one day 5 years from now you stumble across me when I’ve grown out of you and finally then after not seeing me for all this time it will break your heart."



Pin It Now!

Monday, November 2, 2015

Quotes for this particular season of my life. || November 2015.


“Once we begin to celebrate what our body does rather than obsessing on how it looks, we start to appreciate our body as an instrument rather than an ornament.
— Unknown
...
“There will be little rubs and disappointments everywhere, and we are all to apt to expect too much; but then, if one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better: we find comfort somewhere.
— Jane Austen
...
“Nothing will ruin your twenties more than thinking you should have your life together already.
— Unknown
...
 You will fall in love with someone who’s cold and always seemingly pushing you away. When all is said and done, they will be forever known as the one person you couldn’t get to love you. Unfortunately, it will hurt and sting worse than the good ones, the ones that chopped up your meat for you and picked out an eyelash from your eye and were nice to your mother, because love often feels like a game we need to win. And when we lose, when we realize we couldn’t get what we ultimately desired from a person, it makes us feel like a failure and erases all the memories of those who loved us in the past.
— Ryan O'Connell
...
“'You,' he said, 'are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.'
— Emilie Autumn
...
“I ruined myself for a lot of people who weren't even worth it.
— Unknown
...
“These are hard times. The world hurts. We live in fear and forget to walk with hope. But hope has not forgotten you. So ask it to dinner. It's probably hungry and would appreciate the invitation.
— Libba Bray
...
“A soft woman
is simply a wolf
caught in meditaion.
— Pavana
...

Pin It Now!

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Adele's 'Hello' & how I haven't stopped crying since its release

You guys. It's been nearly a week and I haven't stopped listening to Adele's new single... much to my coworkers' dismay. It's so good. You've heard it, right? And you've seen the video, right? RIGHT? Here. I'll wait.
.........................

I told you so!

So not only are her cheekbones, voice and eyeliner perfection, but she absolutely kills it in interviews, too. Oh, Adele. You're too good to us.

Maybe I also love her because we're nearly the same age and her songs are about life stages we went through around the same time? Maybe I'm reaching here, but naja.

She slayed me with this. (I want to print it off and tape it all over my apartment as inspiration.)


Adele also blessed us with this recent interview in i-D magazine. It's definitely worth a read. Here's a part that especially stood out to me.
When she was ready to start work on the record, Adele walked down to the local shop ("I do actually walk," she says, laughing) and bought herself a brand new notebook. "I do it every album. I buy a new pad, sniff it - 'cause smell is important - and then I get a big, fat sharpie and write my age on the front page. 25 has five exclamation marks after it 'cause I was like, 'How the fuck did that happen?!' 21 to 25." The record is about getting older and becoming nostalgic, she says. It's about what was, what is, what might have been. It's about missing things that you had no idea were so precious, like being 18-years-old and drinking two litre bottles of cider in Brockwell Park with your mates. "Those were the most real and best moments of my life and I wish I'd known that I wasn't going to be able to sit in the park and drink a bottle of cider again." Not because she's famous, but because her life - and the lives of her school friends - has moved on. No one is a teenager anymore. "I think the album is about trying to clear out the past," she says slowly. 
And woo boy, that's exactly what I'm trying to do right now. Kon Mari Methoding my past. 
Less than a month until we're graced with her entire. new. album. I'm dying over here! 
Pin It Now!

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...